To Persuade People, Just Make Them Feel Great

//July 11, 2005//

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Sales MovesPeople always want things their way. You have been trying to persuade people since you were a baby, crying, smiling and banging your hands on the table. It was primitive, sure, but often effective. Babies get their way a lot.
But now that you have business cards, some of the tenacity associated with your persuasion skills is missing.
Fear not. Although you may have to call on a different set of skills?no more crying or throwing fits?you still have the natural ability to persuade. All you have to do is uncover it and practice. Persuasion is a skill, a science. It can be learned and mastered in a way that isn?t offensive.
Persuasion is not just a selling skill, it?s a life skill. To master it, you may have to change the way you think and interact with others. That includes everything from what you wear to what your body says, everything from hand gestures to the spoken word.
Look at how others persuade you. When you?re asked to do things, why do you do them? What better way to learn persuasion than by seeing yourself being persuaded?especially when you take action and love the result. What trips your trigger? Fear? Vanity? Greed?
The key to persuasion is making sure the person you want to persuade feels great about seeing it or doing it your way. This involves an understanding of how best to persuade.
How do you persuade others? The easiest way is to get people to persuade themselves. This is done by asking questions. To understand how this works, here are a few more ?What is persuasion?? answers:
Persuasion is a science You can learn to persuade. You can learn the best ways to persuade in each given situation of your life.
Persuasion is an art You never cross the line to pushy. You show reserve and poise. In short: Be cool.
Persuasion is compromise Often there is some give-and-take in order to get to your ?win.?
Persuasion is excellent communication skills It?s the way you put your words together, the way you say them. It?s in your expressions and expressiveness.
Persuasion is excellent questioning skills It?s getting the other person to see your perspective by answering your questions. Ask: ?Why do you think this happened?? or ?What made that happen?? Don?t tell: ?This is why that happened.? The difference is powerful.
Persuasion is excellent listening skills Listening is one of the most difficult elements of persuasion because it requires patience. The two-word secret of patience and listening is not ?shut up,? it?s ?take notes.? Taking notes shows respect and eliminates miscommunication.
Persuasion is asking questions to clarify the situation Asking for elaboration and understanding will lead you to harmony. That harmony will permit open-minded dialogue.
Persuasion is getting the other guy to convince himself If you question, listen, write it down and question for clarification, your answers and your point of view will become obvious.
Persuasion is preparation You have to gather the right information, create the right questions, uncover the right hot buttons?and act on them.
Persuasion is an outcome The secret of persuasion?s happy outcome is two words: no manipulation. Manipulated persuasion is short-lived. True persuasion exists when it lasts beyond the moment.
Persuasion is a victory It?s not just your victory because you got your way. It?s persuading with harmony, so everyone feels great. You get your way without the other person feeling like he or she ?lost.?
?And did it my way!? is not how the song ?My Way? should have ended. If Frank and Elvis were masters of persuasion, they would have sung: ?And did it my way, and everyone agreed with me!?