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Question: What happens when people in positions of authority make promises and then break them? Adubato: Breaking promises in business goes beyond being unfair; it is immoral. When you make a promise or a commitment to someone, you are actually getting into someone”s life and are influencing the things they are counting on. Once you make a promise it gets personal, since someone begins making decisions upon your promise. When what you are saying is inconsistent with your actions, you are walking down the wrong path. Question: What do you do if you make a promise and then change your mind?Adubato: You are obligated to communicate it at the precise moment it happens. In other words, speak the truth as soon as you know it. Emphasize that your intent was not to lie or mislead, but circumstances have changed. The key is to be up-front in your communication. What stops people from being up-front and honest is the fear of getting into an uncomfortable or messy conversation since inevitably the disappointed party is going to ask why-and you will have to be ready with an answer. Question: But what about those people who just can’t handle the truth? Adubato: It is best to be as specific and truthful as possible. Doing this without being hurtful or mean-spirited allows people to gain a better understanding of your situation. Whatever you do, deal with the situation; don’t leave people hanging. It’s better to send an assistant to deliver the bad news than to not have it delivered at all, however, the right thing is to do it yourself. After all, you made the promise. Question: What do you do if you are the one to whom a promise has been made and then broken? Adubato: Whether it is a raise, a new office, that extra staff you’ve been asking for or a big sales deal-it doesn’t matter what the particular promise was-all that matters is that the promise was broken and now you are out in the cold. The most import thing is not to take it personally. We’ve all been there, and even though it’s “just” business, it hurts. It also can do a number on your self-confidence. Question: So what are some tips on dealing with the disappointment? Adubato: First, keep in mind that some people in positions of authority are just inconsiderate. They aren’t going to lose any sleep over breaking a promise to you. As hard as it may be, sooner or later you have to accept that you can only do so much to resolve the issue or change the outcome. Further, remember how it feels to be on the short end of one of these promises; resolve not to do the same thing when you are in a position of authority. Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. Sometimes what goes around really does come around. Question: Is it okay to try and follow up with the person who broke the promise? Adubato: Yes, but decide how many calls you’ll make to the promise breaker and when they’re not returned, stop! Every call you place that isn’t returned will only make you feel worse about yourself and remind you how angry you are about what has happened. The same thing with e-mails or letters, except you can and should be more specific than when leaving a phone message. Sometimes it is not the number of e-mails or letters, but the tone you set in your communication. “Hi, Bob, my understanding was that we had an agreement about this. Did I misunderstand? Can you clarify things for me?” Question: Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves. Is that a bad idea?Adubato: Screaming, shouting or whining won’t work. You can be passionate in your communication while remaining professional. Don’t give the promise breaker the opportunity to make your communication style the issue, thereby diverting attention from their less-than professional or inconsiderate handling of the situation. The Bottom Line: If a promise made to you was broken, move on. Future success is the best revenge against someone who has treated you badly in business.