Teri O’Connor
Monmouth County Administrator

Mentorship is so important to women in the workforce these days. Do you mentor other women through a specific program? Or did you have a mentor that was inspirational to you?

One of the more significant parts of my career is mentorship. It is critical and I do it through the Girl Scouts because it can start with girls as young as five years old and continues with them to college.

I have been fortunate to work with great leaders. Specifically, a mentor who was an inspiration to me was Bob Collins, who was the Administrator when I arrived at Monmouth County. I learned a lot from him and appreciate everything that he taught me.

Over the past two years, what as a woman have you learned regarding work/life balance?

Through COVID, a recent injury and with a growing family in terms of grandchildren, I have learned to balance, appreciate and be present.

My family keeps me balanced and they are quick to remind me when I am losing focus. After injuring my ankle and being forced to limit my movements, I realized that I am always thinking about what’s next and not really being present in the moment. It forced me to stop and really enjoy the small moments with my family and appreciate them because they won’t come around again.

It’s important to remember that work should support your home and family life and not become your life.

What valuable career lesson or lessons would you like to share with others?

Own your mistakes—and learn from them. Incorporate learning into making necessary adjustments to be helpful to your organization.

I believe that everyone deserves a second chance and it’s important to work through mistakes together. Always be honest because trying to hide a mistake, or lie about it, will break trust and that is much more difficult to come back from.

I’ve also learned from others in positions of power about what not to do. That was just as important as learning what to do. How to acknowledge the good as well as the not so good. When someone makes a significant mistake, berating them or putting them down does not help the person or the organization. It is essential to help them grow from their mistakes and guide them through them so that they don’t make them again.

Women and men tend to lead differently. What are some valuable traits can we learn from each gender?

Everyone leads differently and it is not defined by being a man or a woman.

You have leaders who are strong and opinionated, and you have leaders who lead by consensus. These leadership styles all work in different circumstances.

For example, the CEO of a non-profit or volunteer-driven organization, such as Girl Scouts, needs to lead very differently than the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. People are motivated differently and a good leader identifies what motivates each team member to develop into the best version of themselves.

What advice would you give to the next generation of female leaders?

Early on in my leadership career, I was stunned to find out that there were individuals who believed—and said—that women could not lead a County.

When I interviewed for the County Administrator role, I was not strong in the area of Finance, and I thought that this fact could hold me back, but I never thought being a woman would. When I found out that the reason I wasn’t chosen was because I was a woman, I became more determined than ever to become the County Administrator.

From this experience, the advice I want to the next generation of female leaders is to acknowledge that this prejudice exists in order to deal with it. Don’t go looking for prejudice, but when you are faced with it, you need to deal with it in stride. Be as emboldened and stand up for yourself.

It is also crucial for women to work on being comfortable acknowledging each other’s successes, and also be able to accept constructive criticism from each other.

Another piece of advice I’d like to give is to surround yourself with strong leaders who are not afraid to disagree and challenge you. I currently work with accomplished leaders and a strong senior team—comprised of both men and women.

While very diverse, they are all able to work through obstacles and celebrate successes together.

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